Well, today I made the first steps towards finding childcare for the Pip for when I go back to work. Not big steps, to be honest, all I did was look up the list of local nurseries on the internet and write down the phone numbers of the ones that looked promising.
It's something I have been avoiding for a while and I can't really put it off any longer. It's tricky because I haven't decided whether a nursery or a childminder is the best option - at the moment I'm 80% leaning towards a nursery - but I haven't actually been round any nurseries yet. So it could change once I've had a look around a few.
The last few months have been so packed with changes that in one way, it seems like they rushed past in the blink of an eye. Is my son really 4 months old now? On the other hand, it seems soooo long ago when I was waiting to give birth. So much has happened since then and Mr KE and I will never be the same again.
Last weekend I left the Pip with Mr KE for the day while I went into "big town" for the first time since before Christmas. I have left him for a few hours before, but never for this long. So it was quite a big step for me (and for Mr KE too!) although I don't think I would have been happy leaving him with anyone else other than his father.
Still, for many reasons, I have to go back to work by the end of the year so I just have to get on with it. Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I do want to go back to work but like every other working mother, I do feel pangs of loss and guilt. It's tough but just one of those things that has to be done.